16 Reasons Boys Don’t Suck

  1. For reasons science has not yet deduced, their hugs just work better.
  2. Yes, they show off… but it’s all to impress you.
  3. They’re not nearly as harsh with the criticizing girls’ bodies as girls are on themselves and each other.
  4. Without them, would we have the word “gnarly”? It’s doubtful.
  5. When they see “Boys suck” T-shirts and message board threads, it breaks their tender boy hearts.
  6. Have you ever watched a boy watching a girl rummage through her purse? That wide-eyed, mystified look they get?
  7. You can borrow their hoodies that smell like boy + dryer sheets.
  8. If there’s some pain in the ass thing to carry or open or fix or reach, they’ll do it… eagerly, even, because it gives them a chance to flex their Boyness.
  9. They make great bases for pyramids, chicken fights, and piggy-back rides.
  10. Because you know how people say “Treat me like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe once, shame on you; treat me like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe twice, shame on me”? You can’t complain about how much all boys suck because of how one or two specific boys treated you unless you TOLD them about how wrong they were. The reason he was probably such a jackhole to you in the first place was that he got away with it with ten other girls who never set him straight — or he’s retaliating against some girl who treated him like dirt. They have brains and they learn.
  11. Uh, Johnny Depp?
  12. They believe you when you tell them how you feel, even after you hurt them by not believing them when they’re upset about something.
  13. Holding it against them that society taught them not to discuss their feelings is just as lame as holding it against a girl if she cries at inconvenient times. If you give them a safe way to express their emotions — a way that they know they won’t get yelled at or beat up — they usually will.
  14. The part where their hair ends at the nape of their neck, when it’s cut short, feels like puppy dog.
  15. At the end of the day, alls they really want is for someone to comment on their blog. Just like you.
  16. Girls lie plenty, too, hon.

[I originally wrote this for The-N.com; 2005 I think. ]

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